Climate Scientists Know Big Scarry Words

A conference of national forecasters was held this week in Exeter to discuss the future of the British climate following the spate of harsher than expected winters, and unusually wet summer since 2007.  Their forecasts of these events missed the mark almost entirely.

Sean Thomas posted on the Telegraph.Co.UK interviews he had with the Met (UK) Office in England.  He says that although he could not attend the meeting,”….. I had direct access to the meteorologists concerned, as I was in Exeter in spirit form, and I managed to speak to the principal actors”.   We hear by the grapevine that the principal actors are denying that they said what Thomas relates in his posting.   I leave it up to you to determine if the following are true and factual transcriptions.

First, I asked Stephen Belcher, the head of the Met Office Hadley Centre, whether the recent extended winter was related to global warming. Shaking his famous “ghost stick”, and fingering his trademark necklace of sharks’ teeth and mammoth bones, the loin-clothed Belcher blew smoke into a conch, and replied,

“Here come de heap big warmy. Bigtime warmy warmy. Is big big hot. Plenty big warm burny hot. Hot! Hot hot! But now not hot. Not hot now. De hot come go, come go. Now Is Coldy Coldy. Is ice. Hot den cold. Frreeeezy ice til hot again. Den de rain. It faaaalllll. Make pasty.

Thomas moved on to Professor Rowan Sutton, Climate Director of NCAS at the University of Reading.

When pressed on the particular outlook for the British Isles. Professor Sutton shook his head, moaned eerily unto the heavens, and stuffed his fingers into the entrails of a recently disembowelled chicken, bought fresh from Waitrose in Teignmouth.

Hurling the still-beating heart of the chicken into a shallow copper salver, Professor Sutton inhaled the aroma of burning incense, then told the Telegraph: “The seven towers of Agamemnon tremble. Much is the discord in the latitude of Gemini. When, when cry the sirens of doom and love. Speckly showers on Tuesday.”

Well it is obvious the Met forecasts are being managed carefully.

The interviews somehow got garbled somewhere in the spirit world but, you have to admit Thomas can write a pretty funny story loaded with irony.


h/t to WUWT

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